labor day... why just one day? don't we labor most days of the year?
check! check!
that was the sound of me writing a few people off.
wow, that felt good.
check! check!
that was few more.
bitches.
************************************ in other news: (a.k.a. "i'm drunk...")
i'm going to tahoe tomorrow! and all i can think about is... i'm going to tahoe tomorrow!
i cannot wait! i'm more looking forward to this than anything. of late, the evenings at our house have consisted of me watching tv (and sometimes bitching about things that really matter) and tim sitting in the other room reading for business school.
oh yeah, did i mention that my husband, tim, just started business school at Haas (berkeley) for the next 3 years? did i mention that it is an amazing MBA school and i'm really happy for him? did i mention that i didn't plan on the next 3 years of my life being here in san francisco, when i really want to be elsewhere (i.e. Texas)? did i mention that he applied for this school without telling me he was committing 3 years of our lives to it? did i mention that i'd really have been so much happier if he'd applied/gotten into UT? did i mention that i'm happy for him??? :|
and did i mention that all i can think about is tahoe?!?! and if you don't read that as "tah" dash "ho-oh!!!" (like you're yelling out to a hooker working the corner) you can't even begin to imagine how great lake tahoe is.
tahoe, here i come.
i'm off to pack me, my husband, and my dog for a spectacular 3 day weekend. (and also take some ibuprofen in a proactive attempt to curtail the headache i will have in the morning from all the wine i consumed tonight.)
happy trails to you! bitches.
(that "bitches" only applies to said people above that i have "check!check!"-ed off from my life. to the rest of you... have a lovely 3 day holiday weekend!)
i know, i know. i haven't posted since i complained about not being able to do crack or whore out. yes, the diet is over. basically i began breaking my diet with a couple of beers friday afternoon at a work off-site. i then ran full speed ahead across the finish line that night by consuming about 5 mojitos, a couple vodka sodas, and some fruity shot. i then topped it off with big bowl of cinnamon Life cereal around 2:00am. it was a dream come true - alcohol, dairy, and carbs all at once!
but since then i've just been in a pissy ass mood. people are pissing me off left and right, and i've just about had it. once again i'm hating not loving my job, which always makes it hard to get through the work week. i'm dealing with nincompoop after nincompoop. and i just want to squeeze people's heads until they pop like big old whiteheads.
bad mood is also due to flakey ass people. they are pissing me off! coworkers, professionals, even friends. i don't have time or energy for flakes. i'm about to start writing people off left and right. i've already been in the spring cleaning mode at our house, tossing out stuff we i don't want or need anymore. i'm about to carry that mode into my personal life and start purging unnecessary people too.
watch out - i am kicking ass and taking names! all 5 feet and 100 pounds of me!
Lord, help me, i am craving cupcakes and and sweets and pastries and even a big ol' glass of milk! and i don't even drink milk!
this diet is for the freaking birds. i'm sitting here with my eyelids at half-mass and my mouth is watering because all i can seem to think of are cupcakes with loads of creamy, yummy frosting. i'm coveting big frosted cakes, ice cream sundaes, chocolate chip cookies that are fresh from the oven where the chocolate chips are running and ooey gooey... even the thought of my simple sour patch kids are making me salivate. and i would just fall off my chair if i could have a chocolate martini. actually i would probably fall off my chair after having one anyway, but wow - to consume one (or four) would be heaven.
i'm pathetic, i know. day 5 and going strong... and counting down the minutes until tomorrow night when i break this horrid fast!
you know i really like blogs. i really like my blog (well, sometimes) and i really like the blogs that i read. thus, i have never really been interested in MySpace. after all, isn't MySpace for high school kids? and weirdos like my hairdresser who sit on it night after night and actually go meet the people she finds on the site?
sorry popo & ethel, i know you girls are into it.
well one of the few friends i still like and communicate with from my high school has confessed that she is on MySpace. over 4th of july weekend we got onto it to look at her "friends" because she's reconnected with a lot of people and we wanted to see what they were doing. and of course we wanted to laugh at and make fun of some of them too! i must admit, it was totally fun to lurk and see what people are doing. however, i wasn't signing up. not into it, but thanks.
well now my 10 year high school reunion is coming up this weekend. my initial thoughts were "no way, jose!" i'm not going. that gut reaction primarily stemmed from the fact that by the time senior year was over, i hated everyone i had been best friends with. i had just moved on - i was more interested in going to frat parties with my sister than thinking about prom. but then when i got on MySpace over 4th of july weekend, i saw a lot of people i had forgotten about and that i really wanted to catch up with. so i started wavering back & forth between going to the reunion and not.
well, i'm actually not going. it's this weekend, and i'm already going back to Austin twice in September, so i just couldn't justify it. however, my curiosity in what people are up to hasn't tapered off at all since my first foray into MySpace in July. so i jumped on the bandwagon about a month ago, and i signed up for an account. but i absolutely refused to put anything in my profile, much less add any friends. i actually didn't even go to the site much after i signed up.
well, eventually curiosity got the better of me, and i found myself logging in and going straight to my girlfriend's page so i could click through her friends list. i ended up adding her as a friend about 2 weeks ago, and i've gotten slightly addicted to going to the site to lurk. each day i seem to add something to my profile, but only 1 tidbit of info at a time. yesterday i even added a picture! i know, i know - watch out, crazy girl. but the picture is from afar, and it's of me & tim from our wedding day.
now i'm to the point where i only have 2 "friends" on my list, because i really don't want to put a lot of the yahoos from my high school on there. but at the same time i am a little sad that i only have 2 friends. i mean, hello, i was uber-involved in high school - i was even a cheerleader! so shouldn't i have more friends??? (ethel, popo - want to be my friends?)
yep, i'm on the bandwagon. i just really don't want it to supersede the love for the blogworld. eh, there's no way. you can only look at pictures of people for so long, right?
for the past couple of weeks i've been visiting an allergist/ENT. we're trying to figure out why i get so many sinus infections, so he decided to test for allergies.
when i was about 5 i got tested and they did about 100 needle scrapes on my tiny back and then put on the allergens. i also got to get 11 shots in one arm, and 10 shots in the other for additional tests. it's these fond memories that made me hesitant to do testing again at the age of 27.
luckily for me, they have made medical advancements in the last 20 years. a simple prick test on my forearms with 20 different allergens was all i had to endure. what relief! unfortunately, i didn't test positive to anything. so they sent me to the lab to draw 4 vials of blood and asked me to return two weeks later.
when i went back to the doctor he told me the blood tests didn't show any positive results either. i find this to be a whole big crock of poop, because i clearly have allergies: i wake up all plugged up, my ears get full (not dirty, thank you very much), i sneeze - duh, i'm allergic to something.
since the other tests didn't show anything, he's now testing me for yeast. so starting today, and for the next 5 days, i'm on a strict diet that consists of nothing with yeast or vinegar, or anything that has been fermented. not even milk because it is fortified with vitamins. are you joking?!?! every morning i make a big double latte and have a big bowl of cheerios and oatmeal squares.
and when i say nothing fermented, i mean no alcohol. just knock me out for a week, please.
last night tim and i went out for my "last supper." i had tons of carbs and lots of cocktails. probably not the brightest idea because this morning i couldn't have any good hangover food. we ended up at a vegan place because my aunt is in town. needless to say, it didn't really do the trick. i complained like a little kid the whole time, and even though i didn't like what they were eating, i coveted it because i couldn't have it.
i went to whole foods to grocery shop thinking that they would have to have some yummy creations that would satisfy my restrictions and my hunger at the same time. i ended up with just a lot of fruit and vegetables. boring. healthy and well-balanced and what i need, i know. but so freaking boring.
i made fish and salad for dinner tonight and i'm starving. i'm pretty sure tim is hungry too. this is going to be a really long 5 days.
my parents have been here for the past 2 weeks while we have the tile in our kitchen replaced. this means we have been without a kitchen since august 1st. we're not totally out of sorts since we can use the smaller kitchen in the garage apartment, but it's primarily for milk, cereal, and sandwiches - no real cooking. dinners for the past 2 weeks have since turned in cheerios, heavy appetizers of crackers, salami & cheese, or going out to dinner. tonight was an evening of dining out.
when my mom and i went to leave the house we noticed the construction workers' truck was blocking the driveway, which meant a bit of a strategic exit from the garage and a few feet of driving on the sidewalk to exit the neighbors driveway. mom said she would help guide me out so she waited on the sidewalk while i went to get in the car.
i started to climb into my car and i heard her say "what the hell?!" i put my purse down and walked around to the back of the car where she was standing. sitting there was a big, runny pile of dog crap at the edge of the garage, but still inside the garage. "ewwww! that is so rude. did someone let their dog come crap in our garage?" i said. it must have been a big dog too, because there were 2 smaller piles nearby, and even another on the sidewalk.
we stand there looking at it, grossed out and wondering where the heck it came from and who on earth would have let their dog do this. especially since it was inside the garage. my mom knows she left the door open while the electrician was there working, but swears it wasn't more than a 30 minute time period.
i still can't believe someone would be so rude to let their dog have a runny shit inside someone's garage and not pick it up. ugh, it's gross. but it's also time for dinner, so i get in the car and maneuver it onto the driveway. after several reverse-turn-forward-reverse-turn-forward moves, i'm out of the garage (almost like Austin Powers in that golf cart that is stuck between two walls). it's then that i hear my mom say "oh my gosh, there's more!"
i put the car in park, get out, and walk around to the garage from the driver's side. just as i start to say "there's more?" my mom starts going "oh my gosh. oh my gosh!" over and over as she sees more. she's walking slowly to the back of the garage, and her eyes get as wide silver dollars and she's pointing at "more." then as she reaches the back of the garage she gasps and says "beebers, there's mens shorts here!!"
it takes 2 seconds to process, but i walk back there and sure enough, there are mens boxers there. blue plaid boxer shorts... laying at the end of a diarrhea trail leading to the back wall of the garage where my lounge chair and recycle bucket sit. i *shit* you not, there are mens drawers, covered in poop, In. Our. Garage.
we really don't know what to think at this point. the wheels in our heads start spinning so quickly that it's a miracle something didn't break. who the heck would have done this? when did this happen? was it the construction workers?!? my dad did give them a rash of shit for being so completely behind schedule. would they have done this because in retaliation? like when leo got mad at me for leaving town so he crapped in front of my door? are our construction workers behaving like animals?!?
we know it wasn't them, because after all my mom gave them a perfectly acceptable and sparkling clean bathroom to use. she thinks she's been too nice for them to poop on her or her property. she knows it wasn't the electrician either. so that leaves the Bums.
yep, the good old Bums in san francisco. it is capitalized because they are an entire breed here. i have never seen them walk by our house. but i guess tim has, and my mom has. so we decided it was a Bum with a bad case of tummy trouble.
i just want to know what goes through someone's mind as they're walking up the street and realize they're going to have the squirts. if you were in this predicament, would you see an open garage door and think "oh sweet! i'll go hide behind that car and unload!" normally when a garage door is open in SF someone is always around, whether coming or going. it is unfortunate for us, in this case, that we weren't around. or maybe it's fortunate - i wouldn't want to see a Bum crap next to my car.
i can't seem to figure out the order of events though: did he start crapping outside and make it all the way in and decide to take off his undies? or did he go all the way inside, start shitting and pulled off his undies, then trail it as he left the garage? and at that point, wouldn't he have been standing naked on the street? it's just baffling.
God Bless my husband for taking care of the clean up while mom and i jumped in the car and headed off to dinner. although my mom did have to finagle those dirty drawers into a safeway bag that we tied and left on the curb (no way is that going to stink up my trash can!), timmy sprayed the filth outside. now it just needs a healthy dose of bleach and i might feel like this whole incident is cleaned up.
due to a lack of things to say that are unrelated to how frustrated i am at work and the idiots that are employed at this company, i'm going to post a picture of my precious niece.
doesn't she look like she's just died and gone to heaven with that smile and lazy eye thing she has going on? she kind of looks like someone has been petting her head and it feels so good she just wants to scream "don't stop!"
i love you sophie! maybe in 5 years you will be able to read this.
i just stole this from some guy because i liked the picture. it gets the point across.
i'm swamped at work, and it makes me one cranky bitch. thank goodness i have a door that i can close to my office b/c the grunts and high pitched flabber-gasted noises of exhaustion at others' incompetence are getting to be quite out of hand.
you think that was a mouthful? try typing it out.
i hope to be back soon - meanwhile, i'm lurking. and drinking lots of wine.
still getting over my sinus infection. and every time i sneeze or cough i get a surprise glob of pflegm in my mouth.
oh yeah, things are mighty exciting around here!
returned to work yesterday for a 1 and a half day work week - those are stellar. the whole company is having a "Best Week Ever" party this afternoon from 1-4pm, where me and 700 of my closest co-workers will gather for some sort of surprise that probably consists of sodas and snacks when all we really want is cocktails. regardless of the fact that we won't be working, we're pretty bitter about the gathering, and already have a pub crawl happy hour planned and will be watching the clock until we can leave to get on that.
