another celebrity run-in

gosh i love living in california. not that san francisco is hollywood or anything, but at least i get to see some famous people every now and then.

last night i went to dinner with with my friend lindsay at this place called Americano. we go immediately after work at like 5:30, so we decided to get a drink in the bar before sitting down to dinner.

so we're sitting there talking and i look in front of me and there is andrew shue, a.k.a. Billy Campbell a la Melrose Place. i go "oh my gosh, that's andrew shue." and lindsay says "haha, i sat by him on a plane once. what the hell is he doing here? weird."

for some reason i always picture him in a soccer uniform. i don't know if that is from melrose place, or for some other reason. regardless, he looked exactly like he did in this picture. he has that baby face where he'll be forever 21, i think.

anyway, it was fun. i, of course, didn't have my camera. and my camera phone isn't worth crap. lindsay obviously didn't think it was exciting enough to take a picture. she lived in LA for 5 years, so celebrity sitings aren't super exciting for her. silly girl.

my random monday... read to the bottom so TJ gets some air-time!

mmmm, mmmmm! i think i'll talk about my cooking like ethel always does. friday night i whipped up some home-made tomato basil soup. yumm-mmy! i added 5 garlic cloves instead of 3 though. tim and i smelled like little italy. with our soup we had some gourmet cheese toast... which really just consisted of slicing a french baguette and layering swiss and cheddar cheese, and toasting in the broiler until bubbly. it was a tasty dinner, and i was mighty proud of myself for a friday night.

and i'm enjoying the soup today. i just had it for lunch with my sandwich. only problem is the garlic... it's smelling up the cubicles and i have an appointment at the eye doctor at 2:00pm. she will not be pleased, i'm sure.

can i just say, thank you jacob!! i found his link to web sodoku. i am addicted to these number puzzles! as is everyone in my famiy. and my friend adam is too, much to the chagrin of his wife. how's that brown belt going, adam? i have just found another outlet for wasting precious time at work. so this is fun.

i was going to write about how much i hate rude people, inspired by my drive into work this morning. but i'm not going there. i'm actually in a pretty damn good mood, and i'd like to stay that way. so lucky you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TJ! it's my brother-in-law's 30th birthday and i'd like to give him a shout out. happy 30th Teej! you can now officially go by tim's favorite nickname for dudes who are 30: Old Balls. sean is Old Balls 1, since he turned 30 first. tim is Old Balls 2, so TJ gets to be Old Balls 3. welcome to the club!

that's all i got peeps. have a great monday!

snow bunny

yesterday tim and i drove up to lake tahoe to ski for the day. the forecast looked pretty gnarly - 30 degrees 29mph winds and 100% chance of precipitation. in my opinion, blizzard conditions. but we had to go, b/c my best friend who moved away to LA a month ago was going to be there. so we said we'd make the trip to hang out with her - it's only like a 3 1/2 hour drive.

well i hung out, alright. i hung out in the lodge all day! when we pulled into the parking lot i could tell it was going to be bad. you could barely see the mountain, and the wind and blowing snow almost knocked me down. when we got up to the base of the mountain, tim said he would take a couple of runs and let me know how it was. i wasn't going to waste money on a ski pass when i had serious doubts that i would hit the mountain.

i was right. an hour later tim came down and met me in the lodge with icicles on his face. i decided i had it pretty good inside by the fire, so i waited for megan to come in for lunch. we started in on the totties around 1:00pm. 2 glasses of cabernet, please! she decided to sit the rest of the afternoon out since the weather was only getting worse, so we got to sit around and chat and visit.

what should have taken us about 3 hours to get home took more like 5 hours because of traffic and the snow. but it was worth it because i wanted to hang out with megan. although we did realize while we were up there that she's coming to SF next weekend, so the trip up wasn't totally necessary. ooops!

i'm off to shop. i totally need a new wardrobe....

genders summed up

this is for megan.

it reminds me of a story my mom told me. one time when i was like 3 and in the car with my mom, i asked her to go to mcdonald's for french fries. she said we couldn't go because she didn't have any cash. i told her to "charge it."

i learned young, just as this little gal.

yes, my tim is a tool.

last night when i got in bed to go to sleep, tim decided it was joke time. not just any old joke, but knock-knock jokes. we laughed so hard, i think tim was crying. we didn't laugh b/c they were funny, but because they were right on par with the jokes his 4 1/2 year old niece would tell.

1) tim: knock knock.
me: who's there?
tim: cock-a-doodl.... oh shoot. i ruined it!
:: laugh laugh laugh ::
tim: knock knock.
me: who's there?
tim: cock-a
me: cock-a-who?
tim: cock-a-doodle doo!
:: crickets ::
me: that wasn't funny. (but i laughed anyway)

2) tim: knock knock.
me: who's there?
tim: ya.
me: ya who?
tim: yahoo? what are you excited about?

okay last one. "thank goodness!" you're saying. that's what i was saying too.
3) tim: knock knock.
me: who's there?
tim: puh.
me: puh who?
tim: poo? did you just take a poo?
me: good night, tim. no more jokes.

he just emailed me "knock knock..." it reminded me of last night so i decided to post his embarrassing jokes. really, what would i blog about if i weren't embarrassing tim so much?!

a.b.w.

oh no! i forgot my dog Dolly, and i feel so guilty i can't post this without her. we got her when i was about 6 and she lived until she was almost 17. here she is, sweet girl. it's obviously not the best picture, but this is all i can find right now. she's licking her chops.

expensive workout

sort of like ethel's expensive calzones the other day, i had an expensive workout today.

for some reason i was thinking it was tuesday. i pulled up on the street outside the gym this morning, and didn't think twice about parking there. the absence of other cars on the street didn't tip me off, nor did the "NO PARKING WEDNESDAYS 6-8AM - STREET CLEANING" sign. it's tuesday after all, and there just must be nobody at the gym, that's why there's so many parking spots.

wrong. i walk out at 6:15am after my workout and the little vermin parking ticket dispenser is putting a ticket on my windshield. i hate those bastards! they look like cockroaches in their little half-golf cart street mobiles. if only i would have not done the "cool down" on the machine, i would be $40 richer. damn it.

at least i got in a workout though i guess. looking on the bright side, people, looking on the bright side.

"i beg your pardon?"

i just got off the phone from making my annual doctor's appointment. i've never had a conversation like this before.

Girl: Okay we'll see you on March 8th at 9:00am.
Me: Okey dokey... thanks.
Girl: Don't have anything in your vagina for 2 days prior.
Me: What was that?
Girl: Don't put anything in your vagina for 2 days before the pap
smear.
Me: Wow. I thought that's what you said. I bet you love saying that
to people.
Girl: Yeah, everybody's always like "What?!"
Me: Ooookey dokey. Thanks.

for some reason it's still making me giggle. i'm going to start telling that to people when i talk to them. "dinner friday night? okay, don't have anything in your vagina for 2 days before!"

please add a caption

this is making me wet my pants over and over and over again.

sunny and 65 degrees! or 52 degrees, whatever.

guten morgen! it's a lovely day in the bay area today. i went to the gym this morning, went to the grocery store, and finished some laundry - all before leaving the house at 8:15am. it has been a productive morning... i just love that.

slightly hard to be at work now though. i had a 2-nighter weekend, where i chose to go out both nights. that's never good. i always need an extra night to veg and restore my energy. last night just wasn't enough for me.

here's something to gag you while you eat your lunch - i just found a small curly black hair on my desk. ugh! blech! nasty! where's the lyscol? luckily it wasn't on my keyboard or anything. it was on a part of the desk that i don't really use. but seriously, that is just gross.

4 3/4 more days of this "work" thing until another weekend... not that i'm counting or anything.

out of shape. bad.

oy - TGIF. i need this weekend after the past few crappy days i've had.

today while i was eating lunch at my desk (again), i decided i really needed a coke. i forgot to bring one today, so i decided to run upstairs to the cafe and get one. i'm on the 3rd floor, cafe is on 7. it's actually quite a walk to get to the elevators, and the stairs are right by me. i thought, hey 4 floors, i can do that. piece of cake. plus since i haven't worked out but twice since thanksgiving, i thought this would totally count as exercise.

i pop into the stairwell and start heading up, in my heels natch. up one floor, no biggie. up 2... starting to get a bit winded. up 3... feeling the burn. by the time i hit floor 5 i've wondered what the hell i was thinking. and i'm wondering what kind of shape i've let myself get into. it's just sad.

i get to the cafe and get my soda. i run into an old co-worker and she asks how i'm liking my new position. i truly can't answer her without sounding like i just ran a 50 yard dash. it's really embarassing.

i took the stairs back down also. my legs were wobbly and shaking. really, this is pathetic. i'm hitting the gym in the morning. i'm planning on it at least. i've also been planning on going to the gym every morning this week, but haven't made it. my workout clothes have been in a neat little stack all week, just waiting on me.

happy weekend people. enjoy it.

it's chicken shit again

seriously, my world collapses with PMS. i'm about to double over with cramps, and i'm nauseous as hell. and of course today is the day where my managers need 101 things from me, and they want it 5 minutes ago.

everyone just waltzed off to lunch, and here i am, working through lunch to get this shite done. it's so not fair.

and it's so chicken shit. where's the chicken salad?

it is a craptastic day

today sucks ass. sucks ass, people!

it's near the end of the day. i was just thinking to myself "ah, it's 4:30. not too much longer, an hour - tops. i'll go get my snack, and cruise through the rest of the day." nice.

i get my afternoon snack, which is a yogurt. i get back to my desk and sit down. i shake my yogurt b/c i like doing that better than stirring. but somehow shaking it creates some pressure in there, so you have to be extra careful when you open the lid or else yogurt will spit out at you from the hole you create. it's kind of like opening a can of coke that's been dropped.

so i'm extra careful.... nice, no splatters. but darn, the foil lid splits in two. this will require me to carefully peel the other half of the foil. i peel it away, no problem. mission accomplished. as i reach over to throw away the foil, the yogurt container slips off the desk and tips over onto my lap. the whole freaking thing.

it doesn't splatter into a widespread mess, but instead is a big pink strawberry blob right in the crease of where my legs are crossed, creeping downward more and more into my crotch with every second. it doesn't just get on my jeans either. of course it equally straddles my jeans and my cozy, fuzzy sweater.

i grab some napkins and start wiping. not really helping, this is ugly. i get up and go to the bathroom, hoping nobody sees my pink crotch walking across the floor. after wiping it off with dry paper towels, i have to use a wet one to wipe down my jeans because there is pink in the creases of the stitching and everything.

i emerge from the bathroom looking as if i wet myself.

like i said, this is a craptastic day. cocktails anyone?

audioblog wednesday

the fantastic four

Nobody tagged me. I guess it's a chicken shit kind of day.

Four Jobs You've Had:
1.) Working for my dad
2.) IT Consultant (believe it or not)
3.) Supply Chain management
4.) I've only had 3 jobs. Unless selling lemonade on the corner counts.

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:
1.) Father of the Bride
2.) Christmas Vacation
3.) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
4.) Sliding Doors

Four Places You've Lived:
1.) Austin, TX
2.) San Francisco, CA
3.) That's all folks...
4.) Only lived in 2 cities.

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:
1.) Laguna Beach (still not over it)
2.) Extreme Makeover Home Edition - or any home show with a before & after
3.) The Today Show
4.) Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Four of Your Favorite Books:
1.) The Time Travellers Wife
2.) I Know This Much is True
3.) Shopaholics
4.) Harry Potters

Four Places You've Been On Vacation:
1.) Most of Europe
2.) Bora Bora, Tahiti
3.) Cayman Islands
4.) Cabo San Lucas

Four Websites You Visit Daily:
1.) My blogroll
2.) Citibank
3.) Netflix
4.) Amazon.com

Four of Your Favorite Foods:
1.) Queso & chips
2.) Fajitas
3.) Tamales... I like Tex-Mex.
4.) Sour Patch Kids - yes that's a food for me.

Four Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:
1.) My parents house
2.) My house
3.) Megan's pool
4.) Somewhere tropical

Four Bloggers You Are Tagging:
I can't tag anyone, nobody's left. Go figure.

lighter tuesday

yeserterday's post was too much. here's something more appropriate. this is definitely how i'm communicating these days since my body is loaded up with hormones. no means yes. always.

thanks, kim.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. Hello = Hey, wanna have sex?
12. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

tick tock?

i think my biological clock might have started ticking. this is terrifying, i know. i'm not sure where this is coming from. i think my sister might have put a battery in my clock when she got pregnant. i also have multiple friends who are expecting. i can't help but think this has something to do with it.

i have never really been a big kiddo fan. when people's kids are running around, i roll my eyes. i don't like being around the little germ-carrying things. but lately, when i see people's kids i'm like "now that is a cute kid." "look how cute she and her mommy are." "my baby might look just like him, little blonde hair and blue eyes..." huh? this is distressing me, i'm not supposed to feel like this.

and i'm not ready. i'm really not. but is anyone ever really ready? i didn't feel like i was ready for marriage. but here tim and i are, the picture of wedded bliss. okay not really, but we're pretty darn happy the majority of the time. i feel like Baby World is somewhere i'm just going to have to dive into without over-analyzing it too much, or else i'll never want to go there! that was a joke. of sorts.

i'm also experiencing the pull from texas. the house next door to my sister's went up for sale. i want that house. i feel like i'm just about ready to move back to texas. and having a baby and moving back to texas have always gone hand-in-hand in my "plan for the future." my best friend has been gone from SF for only a month and i'm bored out of my mind. not like i don't have other friends, but it's just different. thus an even bigger reason why i think i'm ready to move.

of course i can't really do anything without my better half. especially the baby part - hello, i know it takes it two. or one and a turkey baster. i prefer to not go that route. i guess i'll just have to see what happens.

meanwhile, i'm looking forward to those couple of glasses of syrah tonight. you guys should try the Hahn Syrah. it's inexpensive, and it's really good. cheers.

meme meme

"The first player of this game starts with the topic five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."

1. i am the trash nazi. i love thursday because thursday is trash day, recycle day, & compost day. i get extremely antsy on wednesday nights because it's tim's job to carry all the trash/recycle bins down to the garage and get them to the curb before the trash men come. he tends to wait until thursday morning, but sometimes the trashmen come early and we get passed by, making me wait an entire week before i can get the stuff out again. i hate him when this happens. like i said, i am the trash nazi.

2. i like to think in foreign accents. most of the time i think as if i'm speaking with a british accent. or scottish like fat bastard. lately i'm really into the eastern european supermodel accent. i don't know why i threw in the supermodel part.

3. i'm a freak, absolute freak about lotion and chapstick. when i wash my hands i must immediately find hand lotion. if my hands even start to dry out i start to break out in hives. like right now. and i must have lipgloss or shiny chapstick on at all times. preferably tasty too.

4. i like to do things with what i deem as the highest level of efficiency. if i'm taking a glass of water from the bedroom to the kitchen, i will pick up everything else in the room that needs to be placed in the rooms along the way to the kitchen, just so i can do it all in one trip.

5. i can't sit in the back of an airplane. i like to be right at the front. it makes me feel like i'm somehow more in control. i also freak out during the boarding process if i don't get to board first. i'm paranoid that all the overhead space will be full, and they'll try to make me check my carry-on, which of course i can't do because i have jewelry, medicine, makeup, and other fragile/vulnerable items in there. my husband hates flying with me.

my new digs!

holy hell, i love my new look! what a fantastic thing to come home to tonight!

i cannot, and will not, take an ounce of credit for it. that all belongs to the queen, ms. baby jewels! BJ, you rule my world. and my blog.

thank you!!

on another note, i left this rambling audioblog on my walk home tonight. i'll probably pull it down tomorrow. no one really needs to hear me short of breath.

i talk too fast

believe it or not, i didn't record this more than once. basically because i didn't have time.

clueless

this is cracking me up! and partially because i'm a blonde. but even i *probably* wouldn't be this dense.

i love how the other cheerleaders are looking at her like "what the... ???"

tuesday lesson

earlier today i was telling megan a story from my Christmas break, and it really got me fired up. i was supposed to put it into my post-Christmas post, but somehow it slipped my mind. but now i'm TO'ed again. there is a good part to the story, and then a piss-me-off part. and also a lesson. lucky you!

so here's the story:

some background information - tim and i never received our marriage certificate in the mail when we got married. i had our mail put on hold while we honeymooned in bora bora, and it wasn't there when we got back. i had the post office dig for it, called the county clerk to see if it had been returned... nothing. the clerk's office told me to come in periodically because they keep the ones that are returned. great, i'll check back frequently since i live in CALIFORNIA. you idiot. i hate people who work at those places. they are lazy. (yes i just made a sweeping generalization. bite me - i'm fired up, remember?)

so this past Christmas when we were in austin (over a year after our wedding), we drove by the county clerk's office and i jokingly said "we should go in and see if they have our marriage certificate." but we didn't. that night i actually had a dream that they had found it. but i didn't remember the dream until the next day when we happened to drive by again. i shouted "pull in! i have a good feeling about this!"

we went in and they had it! the address was correct on the envelope, but the postman had delivered it to the same address as our house, but 1 street away. the people who live there wrote on it "please deliver to correct address" but the postman returned to sender.

why so pissed off? i hate the people who live there! hello, i've gotten their mail before and i always take it to their mailbox. the fact that they couldn't walk one flippin' block up and drop it off makes me irate. the f*ckers. screw them, i'm tossing all their mail from now on. they messed with the wrong biatch.

so the point of the story is two-fold: 1) i'm now legally married with my original marriage certificate; and 2) postmen deliver to the wrong address even when it's written correctly on the envelope. and you shouldn't assume people that you are nice to, will be nice in return. because sometimes those people suck.

there's your lesson for the day.

neglected

well, well, well.

while i have been gone for the past few days, rubbing elbows with the stars, all of my blog buddies have gotten extreme makeovers. madethel, rit, hizzle... everybody. everybody, i tell you!

and nobody wants to include me.

perhaps if i dare you, you'll want to make me beautiful.

popo and jewels, i dare you to create something spectacular for me. no, i double dare you!

please? pretty please?? pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

no, not BJ's cherry - that was taken a long time ago. by the first hobo.

by the way, i started my new job this week (all 2 days i was there). i must say, it's going to cause some serious blogging interruptions. it's so not cool to have everyone looking into your cube at your computer screen all the time. hopefully my newness will wear off soon and no one will want to see what i'm doing anymore. hopefully...

catch up post

wow - what a whirlwind! i've been gone for the past two days on a little road trip. tim & i (and leo) drove down to LA from SF on tuesday night. what a long drive... almost 7 hours. i stayed awake the whole time so timmy wouldn't be chauffeuring me, but crikey that was difficult! main things i learned on this drive:

1) when there's no toilet paper in a gas station bathroom, and you choose to wipe with a toilet seat cover, it's much less soft and absorbing than TP.

2) on the drive when timmy says "watch out for the popo" he's not referring to TinaPopo. he's referring to the police.

3) when you get to the san fernando valley and you think you're near LA, you're really not. there's a long way to go.

we went down to LA for the Rose Bowl. we had amazing 45 yd. line seats with my parents. holy hell, what a game! it was a nail-biter to the end, and we pulled it off in the last 20 seconds. whew! good game - go Longhorns!

i had a bunch of good celebrity sitings, and i had a bunch of pictures. but WTF! i just stuck my camera's memory card in my computer and it erased a bunch of the pictures!!! i don't really know how to use my camera very well - obviously. so i lost a bunch of great pics. but here are the couple that somehow remained on my camera.

will ferrell was sitting 5 rows behind us. i had a bunch of shots of him, but this is the only one left on the camera. boo.


matt mcconaughey was sitting right below will, and he was with lance armstrong. none of those pictures are on my camera anymore. i guess they are in picture heaven. sucks.

here's owen wilson, he was sitting 2 rows in front of us. i love him.


and here's some country singer, jackson browne? i don't know him, but the girls in front of me did, so i took his picture too.


i could have had pictures of nick lachey too. my friend lindsay called me from his tailgate and was like "you have to get over here now. wilmer valderrama just showed up." but i didn't get over there. think of the pics i could have had.

so since i don't have those - here's leo trying to drink out of his friend zoe's water bowl.


okay i'm off to unpack and do laundry and sulk about losing my good pictures of all the boys. i'm so glad tomorrow is friday!

happy new year, i'm not at work!

i am so loving the fact that i am not at work today! what to do, what to do! i'm going to attempt to work out, try to get into the doctor for some weird lump in my neck, meet my husband for lunch, shop a little, see a movie, take leo on a long walk, watch daytime tv, go to the grocery store, cook a gourmet dinner...

wow, i just realized i am mighty ambitious. might not get around to some of those, like the gourmet dinner.

we had a pretty uneventful new year's eve. tim and i just went to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, town hall. we took a great bottle of wine we'd been saving, and had a lovely dinner. slight confusion as to when midnight actually occurred. we all had champagne, but nobody knew when it was midnight until we heard the fireworks going off on the bay. then everyone was like "oh! happy new year! yay."

we did have a star-sighting. when we were seated at our table i recognized vanessa carlton sitting at the table beside us, next to tim. i did the whole casual-glancing several times to make sure it was who i thought. i didn't really look at the guy she was with. i told tim "i have something to tell you but i can't tell you right now." he hated that. when they left our waitress said "you know who that was next to you, right?" and i said "YES!" she then said "gosh, he's so cute." and the squeeling tire brakes sound went off in my head and i say "he?" the waitress says "yeah, that was stephan jenkins from 3rd eye blind and his wife vanessa carlton." i didn't know they were married, and i totally kicked myself because i was sitting 12-inches away from stephan jenkins and i was too busy playing it cool to really stare at them. he's pretty darn cute too.

so that's about it. i'm off to start my day, now that i've slept in until 9:00am. actually i'll start my day after i fix myself another latte and watch the news with leo.