well, hellooooo! it feels like i've been gone forever. i can't believe it was only a week ago that i thought i was going to die from the flu. i really thought my head was going to explode on the plane when we descended into Austin last thursday. i cried like a baby.
but i got much better, and had a fantastic Christmas at home. flying back today wasn't so much fun - primarily because i was forced to re-enter the real world. i hate this place, the real world. a job, a house to clean, etc. i just want to hang out in texas and watch movies and blog. is that too much to ask?!?
anyway, i thought i'd capture our week in pictures. if you care to see.
i showed tim a bit of the texas hill country, which is really pretty. we went through a bunch of tiny po-dunk towns. here is the Johnson City Courthouse all lit up for Christmas. i really wish we'd gotten a pic of the sign that said "Merry Christmas Ya'll".
we celebrated timmy's 30th on Christmas Eve after dinner. my mom got him a star wars cake with creepy black icing. it was ugly. but tasted really good! we just had black tongues.
we do a White Elephant gift exchange with our extended family on Christmas Eve. gifts have to be around $20. i brought "the 40yr old virgin", for example. here's what my mom got from my weird cousin. he gathered it from his ranch out in Joppa, TX. they are so bizarre.
shortly after the gift exchange, my dad passed out from too many jack & diet cokes.
i drove up to dallas on monday with my mom & sister for the day to see my grandparents. here's leo with my grandfather, dandy.
had dinner at my sister's house tuesday night. this is her 7th month belly. she's the tiniest pregnant girl i've ever seen! i'm going to have such a skewed sense of what you're supposed to look like pregnant.
and lastly my mom finally got a family picture of the 6 of us. she's going to send out New Year's cards instead of Christmas cards. basically because she was just too late to send Christmas cards.
i hope everyone is enjoying some time off? i'm so hoping they let us leave work at noon tomorrow. hoping and praying... ta ta!
i think i have *almost* recovered from the flu. at least i don't have a temperature anymore. we'll see how my sinuses handle the flight tomorrow morning. i'm afraid for them, very afraid.
husband, dog, and i are off for a week with my family in texas. husband is hunting for the first time next week. let's hope he comes home with all fingers and toes. and nothing that he has killed.
update on the wreaths: husband decided to spray them with mens cologne spray. now they smell like a freshly showered man who just took a nasty shit.
have a very Merry Christmas everyone - i wish you all health and happiness!
i know i've been slacking when even my husband asks when i'm going to blog again.
but i'm sick. i went to the doctor yesterday and got on antibiotics again - for the 2nd time in 3 weeks. i've had a fever of 102 degrees 4 times since yesterday afternoon. i'm sneezing like crazy and my sinuses feel like they're going to explode. i feel icky.
but i'm home from work, so that is kind of fun. except that the neighbors have construction going on in their house, so that eliminates the possibility for sleeping all day. it's slightly loud. i have daytime TV ahead of me, which i never get to watch. i already have "reminders" set on the digital cable for shows i want to watch. i'm about to watch "13 Going on 30." it's dumb, but i love that stupid movie.
so there's not much else to say. i'm sick. and the wreaths still smell like poop.
i took leo out to potty this morning. as he was sniffing and assuming the position, two big dogs must have gotten a little too close to each other on the street because they let out huge roar-like barks. we couldn't see them, but we sure could hear them - followed by a "cooper that was BAD! BAD!"
since leo normally needs a distraction-free environment to take his tiny bite-sized poops, he wasn't able to go. instead he cowered next to me, in fear that the beasts that made those terrifying barks were going to find their way up to our house and devour him. so we go inside.
as i open the door to go inside, i smell poop. this is impossible, leo didn't go potty. i check his butt. yep, there's a dingle berry. but it's too small to make a smell. also makes me wonder if it was there all night b/c he sleeps on our bed. ewww. anyway, i check my shoes - nothing. check the hem of my pants - nothing. check the rug - nothing. open the door and check the outdoor rug - nothing. but again, a whiff of poop.
i holler upstairs "tim! it smells like poop! but there's no poop. find it." i leave to go make coffee and throw away the dingle berry.
he comes downstairs and sniff-sniff-sniffs the air like a bloodhound. he comes into the kitchen and says that wreaths on the front doors smell like poop. the wreaths? how can it be the wreaths? they are fake wreaths from target, made from grapevines with fake red berries all over them. it's not the wreaths.
"what, did we get pooped?" i ask. meaning, did someone throw poop at our door, and now the wreaths smell?
"no, we didn't get pooped. but remember when we used to walk up the street and it smelled like poop?"
*crickets*
"yeah, when we would take leo to the park. and it smelled like poop," he says.
i'm envisioning us walking up the street with wreaths and poop smells? or did he get pooped walking up the street once? i'm not making the connection. "what does this have to do with poop-smelling wreaths?"
he says "it's random, that's the point. walking up the street and smelling poop was random, just like our wreaths smelling like poop is random."
*thousands of crickets*
"goodbye, tim." i say.
"gosh, you're so difficult." he retorts in a very napoleon fashion.
as i left the house for work i couldn't help but smell the wreaths. he was right - they totally stink like poop. guess i'll be hanging the pine tree air fresheners on them.
1) So schnell laufen gerade, wie wir können. Zu einer eines anderen Hand an halten. Versuchen, weg in die Nacht zu erhalten und dann setzen Sie Ihre Arme um mich und wir stolpern zu Boden und dann sagen Sie Ich denke, daß wir jetzt allein sind. Es scheint nicht, geben niemand herum. Ich denke, daß wir jetzt allein sind. Das Schlagen unserer Herzen ist der einzige Ton.
2) Sie hat Augen der blauesten Himmel, als ob sie an Regen dachten, den ich hasse, in jene Augen zu schauen und sehen eine Unze Schmerz ihr Haar mich an einen warmen sicheren Platz in dem erinnert, wie ein Kind ich mich verstecken und beten würde, damit den Donner und der Regen ruhig vorbei mich führt Süsses Grube des Kindes O ' süsse Liebe von meinen
3) Wir haben, an zu halten zu, was wir haben. Weil er nicht unterscheidet, wenn wir es oder nicht bilden. Wir haben uns und das ist viel für Liebe - wir geben ihm einen Schuß. Wir sind halbe Weise dort. Leben auf einem Gebet. Nehmen Sie meine Hand und wir bilden sie - ich schw50re. Leben auf einem Gebet.
last night before going to bed i was playing with leo. i have this small chocolate brown teddy bear from pottery barn (don't ask) and i was holding it and trying to get leo to play with it. he wasn't going for it. i didn't get it.
i was shaking it side to side, pretending like it was walking up to leo saying "play with me!" still, he didn't want to play. he actually shirked away from it like he was scared. i said "why don't you want to play with the bear?" it was just puzzling.
then i started thinking to myself, this bear is the size of leo himself. i guess it would be like someone taking a 5 foot blow-up doll and putting it in my face saying "play with me! play with me!" i guess i'd be pretty scared of that too. so i put the bear away. no more will i terrorize leo with it.
don't worry babyjewels, i saved it for you to play with.
i know this is going to open up a whole can of inappropriate comments. go ahead.
this past saturday was tim's company holiday party. it's not an event i was totally looking forward to. i mean, i shouldn't complain. the $17B company i work for can't even throw a party for its employees.
the party itself is actually amazing. they take over a huge hotel downtown - every single ballroom they have, conference rooms, the atrium, etc. the whole place is essentially dedicated to the party. they hire a fantastic event hosting company that puts on a huge production with an awesome theme, crazy decorations that transport you to a different place, different bands in every ballroom... big bucks are spent.
last year there were like 1200 people there. it's just insane! and this is also why it's not so much fun - we spend the entire night walking around looking for people tim knows. every 30 minutes or so we'll find one. we'll shoot the shit for about 30-45 seconds before we part. then we continue roaming and looking. it's not a total blast... especially not in 4" heels.
but the one reason i slightly look forward to this party is the people watching. i could literally host an entire season of What Not to Wear simply observing these people. tim's company has a manufacturing line that runs 24 hours a day, so the employees of his company span many socio-economic levels, as well as taste levels. the suggested attire was "cocktail". here's what some people presume cocktail to mean:
* prom dress - this runs the gammut from 18 year old showing up at the party in their current prom dress, as well as 40 year olds who pull out their old prom dress and wear it. probably because they don't own anything else. you also get the occasional 40 year old wearing the 18 year old's current prom dress. this is just wrong in so many ways.
* frumpy department-store-brand full-length mother of the bride dress - you know these dresses. they look like 2 pieces, with beaded designs swirling all over, but they zip up the back. they generally contain huge shoulder pads, only come in sizes 12-20, and look like they shouldn't have been allowed past 1993.
* ladies slacks with a holiday sweater. i shit you not.
* solid green sequin mini dress, with black panty hose, and clunky black shoes. all this effort and she didn't even bother to put on makeup, do her hair, or take off her thick glasses. but she strutted around with a cocktail in hand all night! at least she's confident and comfortable with her womanlyness.
* backless cocktail dress with a humongo tattoo of your husband on your upper back. i know it was her husband because he was standing next to her and the tat is still valid.
i was going to take pictures of my favorites and post them. this was my goal as i set out for the evening. but there were entirely too many prime suspects that i would have crashed a server trying to post them.
at least they gave us 2 free drinks. and i left knowing that tim and i were the best looking peeps there. i'm not vain, what are you talking about?
hungover and wishing for one of those days with nothing to do at work
but of course it's just the opposite. i've got like 3 meetings on the calendar today. who has meetings on a friday? especially a friday where i'm hungover? ugh.
last night i had a surprise birthday party for tim. it's 2 weeks early, but his birthday is on Christmas Eve, and this year is the big 3-0. i wanted to do something special since we'll be all focused on Christmas on his actual birthday, and i wanted him to be able to play with his friends.
so i'd been planning this party for the past few weeks. it has consumed so much of my time and energy, and you don't know how many times i've been wanting to post about it. but seeing as every now and then tim drops by to the blog, i couldn't say a word. i was dying! i really needed some planning advice too.
yesterday at work i spent the entire day creating drink coupons for the party. i'm nice, but i'm not nice enough to pay for everyone's drinks all night. so i gave everyone a few of these: pretty crafty, eh? i had to do it all in Microsoft office. i don't have photoshop or any fun tools that like. it is solid old school.
so i reserved the mezannine at a bar and treated everyone to drinks and appetizers for a couple of hours. i think a good time was had by all. i hope so at least!
on another note, i have a bald patch in the front & center of my hair. last night in a rush to get ready, i threw in the velcro rollers and was going to give them a shot of heat from the hair dryer. i should not have put the dryer smack dab in the front middle and pressed down on the roller. it singed off an entire chunk of hair. i'm missing an entire chunk of hair! i'm calling it my sinead spot. at least i part my hair on the side so i can have a comb-over to cover it up. but seriously, how long will that take to grow out?! krikey.
this HNT is compliments of the birthday card my husband gave me, and it is in honor of our resident pirate Rit.
it had a pirate theme and said something about wishing me lots of pirate booty - meaning gifts. but then you open it and the little dudes pants come down. booty.
i know, i know. i should have been expecting it, right? perhaps. but for some reason i really, really like nicole. not the old nicole, but the new poised, demure, slimmer, and engaged nicole.
i should have known when i went to see DJ AM a few weeks ago and nicole wasn't at the club. i mean if they would have been on good terms, she totally would have been there and befriended me. we would have hung out all night, and i wouldn't be blogging right now because i'd be in pictures all over the tabloids as her new BFF and all you guys would be blogging about me.
*sigh*
Part II - my birthday!
so i hadn't really asked for a birthday present from tim, considering i've been slightly spoiled lately. i just got a "new job" sussy (FYI a sussy is what we call a surprise gift). he got me three Hidalgo stack rings, and spent a little more than intended. then we were just in NY for 6 days last week, and i immediately turned around and left for cabo san lucas.
but i had still decided i wanted the hot pink razr cell phone. because babyjewels knows how badly i need a good camera phone, and i just think that one is cool. well i got a camera, just not a camera phone. he got me a new digital camera! i didn't know i wanted one, but apparently he thought i did. it's awesome, and takes fantastic pictures: here i am blowing out the candles.
thank you megan for cooking a big yummy birthday dinner! and thank you tim for the camera! i'm pumped for HNTs now.
Part III - Leo Storms NY
the majority of our pictures from thanksgiving weekend in NY follow leo as he travels throughout the big apple. it wasn't intended, but after we realized we were taking more pictures of him than of ourselves, it became a joke. we took his picture everywhere we went. looking through our pictures, we couldn't tell if we had a good time, but it's a sure thing that leo did!
today is a very important day. why is it an important day?
"it's Pearl Harbor Day!" some of you might say. actually it's the 64th anniversary of PHD, but i digress.
"it's hump day?" you might guess.
but as anthony michael hall sang in "16 candles": "BUH nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh... You SAY it's your BIRTHday! BUH nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh... It's MY birthday TOO yeah!"
ah yes. twenty SEVEN years ago my mother brought me into this world. and don't think she hasn't said "i brought you into this world, and i can take you out of it!" a few times too. oh crap, i just realized i'll have to change my blog profile to say that i'm trying to figure out how to retire at 27 now, instead of 26. that stinks.
i'm so sad that i'm not still in cabo, by the pool sipping a big fruity drink with an umbrella on my birthday. cabo was amazing, by the way. the hotel was fantastic, the service was fantastic, the margaritas, sangrias, and pina coladas were fantastic... i should be there right now! not here at my desk blogging working.
i did get an early birthday present yesterday. the man checking me in at the airport said "i have changed your seat for you, i don't think you will mind. happy birthday!" and handed me my ticket which he upgraded to 1st class! that was just what i needed. the chardonnay flowed the whole way home. muchas gracias senor!
1) stoppen Sie gut was Sie tun, Ursache, die ich im BegriffBIN, um zu ruinieren, das Bild und die Art, daß Sie an gewöhntSIND. ich schaue lustig, aber yo verdiene ich Geld sehe, also Hoffnung der yo Welt I, die Sie zu mir bereit sind. erfassen Sie jetzt um, bin ich der neue Dummkopf in der Stadt und meine Töne sind layed unten durch den Untergrund. ich trinke herauf das ganzes hennessey, das Sie auf Ihrem Regal erhielten, ließ mich so gerade mich vorstelle... mein Name ist Humpty.
2) warum nicht ich gerade einen Kuß erhalten kann, warum nicht ich gerade einen Kuß erhalten kann, glauben Sie, daß ich es etwas bin, den ich nicht vermissen würde. aber ich betrachte Ihre Hosen und ich benötige einen Kuß, warum nicht ich gerade eine Schraube erhalten kann, warum nicht ich gerade eine Schraube erhalten kann, glaube, ich, den ich was zu tun aber etwas weiß, mich nicht Liebe bilden lasse Ihnen, warum nicht ich gerade ein Bumsen erhalten kann, warum nicht ich gerade ein Bumsen erhalten kann, schätze, daß es etwas hat, mit Glück zu tun, aber ich mein vollständiges Leben auf gerade eins... wartete
3) Sommer ist gekommen und hinter dem Unschuldig kann nie dauern. wecken Sie mich oben auf, wenn September Enden wie meines Vaters, der gekommen wird, um zu überschreiten, sieben Jahre, so schnell gegangen ist. wecken Sie mich oben, wenn September Enden hier der Regen wieder kommt auf und von den Sternen fallen, die wieder in meinen Schmerz durchnäßt werden und werden, wer wir sind.
as some of you may remember, i was supposed to go to playa del carmen in november. this trip came to fruition when my sister got knocked up. after the novelty of being giddy and pregnant wore off, she realized she needed to get to a beach stat, and enjoy one last vacation before she ruins the rest of her life wouldn't be able to take a vacation for a while after birthing a baby.
but when she started planning, she found nobody could play with her since all her friends had recently popped out babies of their own. so she resorted to family, and soon enough my mom and i were signed up for a weekend full of drinking and lounging by the pool. we were more than happy to accommodate her in this request - our only stipulation is that when people want to buy us drinks, she cannot decline due to the pregnancy. she must order a drink and hand it off to us.
as wilma blew away our resort in cancun last month, we rescheduled for this coming weekend in cabo san lucas. as is typical with my screwed up body, i came down with some sort of throat infection this morning. so i'm pumping antibiotics as we speak. the warning label says to not drink and to avoid the sun. i beg your pardon? that's all i'm going to be doing for 5 days! i'll take the SPF30 and risk it.
so once again, ta ta for now. i'll be back next week with pictures of mexico, and hopefully from NY too. i'm so far behind... adios mi amigos!
