technical difficulties

i'm having issues with posting right now. will some techie please fix my blog?!?

be back later.

i'm back!

oh yes, i'm back. but i'm totally slammed at work after being gone almost a week. somehow i only actually missed 2 full days of work due to the holiday, but it feels like much more. unfortunately my schedule today hasn't allowed for blogging.

i have lots of pictures from our turkey day trip to NY that will hopefully be uploaded tonight. leo had a hell of a time in the big apple!

i got a new job too! it's officially been announced at work and i'll be leaving the crazies that i work for on Dec. 23rd! i'm staying with the company, so i'm probably just moving on to work for another bunch of crazies, but at least it will be new and novel for a while.

ta ta, for now. i leave you with this from my friend kelly:

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on somebody's windshield

Bright Lights, Big City

I love 1 1/2 day work weeks!

Tomorrow I head off to New York City for almost a whole week! I'm so excited, I've never been to NY during the holidays. I can't wait to see all the holiday decorations, do some fantastic shopping, and freeze my little ass off!

It's going to be pretty chilly, I hear. It was 75 yesterday in San Francisco... absolutly gorgeous. It's so hard to think of pulling out sweaters and scarves and wool coats for this trip. Question - so even though it's cold, can I still wear cute heels to dinner? I don't want to wear boots all weekend... am I being too prissy?

Don't answer that.

I love Thanksgiving. I love turkey and dressing and all the fixin's (that's the Texas in me coming out: "fixins"). Actually I love dressing the most. My mom makes the meanest dressin'... mmm. I'm going to miss it this year. Maybe I'll have her make it for me when I'm home for Christmas. I'm sure she'll love that request. I digress...

For Thanksgiving Day we'll be going down to Tim's sister's house in Bethlehem, PA. I have no idea where this is. When I google it though, it prepares me for a city that looks like this:


I've never been to PA. One of our groomsmen lives in Yardley. I have no idea where that is either, but I think we're going to see him while we're there too. It's a whole big wild adventure for Beebers! I feel like Dora the Explorer. Although I've never really seen Dora the Explorer, so I am not sure that it will be just like Dora. It sounded appropriate though.

Happy Turkey Day people! I probably won't be back until next week. Unless I just get so excited that I pee my pants and blog again to tell you about it. Have a fantastic holiday weekend!

And Hook 'Em Horns! Kick some Aggie ass on Friday - I want us in the Rose Bowl!

la lohan

UPDATING 11/30 - this post is too long, so here's a link to the story on Gawker:
http://www.gawker.com/news/top/the-lindsay-lohan-story-137504.php

******************************************

here's another one of those "insider" stories... that has come from my friend in chicago, who works with a girl, who is friends with the guy who wrote this. actually, that's not too many links... just 3!

the guy's name is Jason Lewis, but not the actor. just a regular joe. or jason.

while not the most informative or juicy of insider news, it's still entertaining nonetheless. happy friday!

i know what's on the top of TinaPoPo's Christmas list

i think i have gone mad. i heard a news story tidbit this morning, and i thought of a fellow blogger. a blogger!! this is not normal. i should think of friends, family, my dog...

but no, the girl i don't even know popped into my head when i heard that bruce springsteen is releasing his 30th anniversary edition of Born to Run. i know how obsessed tinapopo is with bruce, and i don't know anyone else who likes him that much. so i heard this, and i thought of her. am i insane? or just pathetic...

christina - enjoy your 30th anniversary edition of born to run.

i'm going to go focus on not thinking of bloggers for the rest of the day.

i am in luf with my body

i have recently discovered that there is a glass doorway here in my office that offers extremely flattering reflections of oneself. it is such a great boost to the ego. i find myself going out of my way to walk through this door as many times during the day as possible.

the experience begins halfway down the hall. you start to see your reflection from afar, somewhat out of focus and small. as you get closer to the door, you get thinner and thinner with every step. the closer you get, the clearer this ultra thin reflection gets.

i find myself thinking "wow, i look kind of slim. can that be right? i probably just can't see very well. no.... no.... no, i look skinny! looking goo-ood! i am hot!"

i've even started swishing my hips a little, more and more as i approach the door. just to see if what i'm seeing is true... can i really be this svelt? yes, i can! a reflection never lies.

i'm not sharing this with anyone. it's my own little secret! it will come in handy when i'm PMSing, for sure.

Missing Bloggers

i do believe that all my favorite bloggers upped and went on a vacation together this weekend. nobody is around today. everybody is MIA. where are you people? i'm actually having to work, and this is not fun. not on a monday.

********************

here's a picture of Leo and his new best friend Zoe. Zoe is my niece, and used to be the #1 in my life until i got Leo. sorry, Zo Zo Gabor. you're still #2 though. well, after Roxy... i guess you're #3. but you're still be-yoo-tee-ful!

I am Tiny Hiney

Tiny Hiney is my prison bitch name.

But if i use my maiden name, I am Goo Gobbler. I think I'll stick with Tiny Hiney. It might not be true, but at least it makes me feel better.

What's your prison bitch name?

Thanks to Staynka, AKA EarMuffs, for the link.

overheard...

today i was in macy's lingerie department. as i walked by a sale rack, i notice a guy looking pretty clueless and confused as he looked through the sale merchandise. definitely not a tranny, this guy didn't know what he was doing.

i mosied on and continued with my shopping. as i headed to the dressing room back in his direction i overheard him on the phone saying: "...e??? as in Boy? B???"

i couldn't tell if he was disappointed in the size or if he just didn't know what that meant. either way, he made me smile.

fire the weathergirl!

it's supposed to have been sunny and 64 here today. here's what it looks like.

it was supposed to be sunny and 68 on tuesday, yet it rained. and i didn't have my umbrella because it wasn't supposed to rain. walking the 1/2 a mile to my bus totally sucked!

shannon, adjust your roaming radar. you're way off!

and you're ruining tim's opportunity to seal the deck before it starts pouring all the time and our deck collapses into the garage like our next door neighbor's did. if that happens, i'm charging you the $15K it will take to fix it!

men are ass backwards

we had some friends over for dinner last night. it was nice because we haven't been able to spend much time with them lately. and they're moving next month. boo.

anyway, we're sitting there at the table and i start to tell a story. it's not a great story, but regardless, i'm talking. i can't even get a full sentance out before tim is interrupting me. this annoys me, but is entertaining nonetheless.

here's our conversation:

me: "so we were cooking out one night and were making thi...."

tim: "remember in austin when i was in charge of gr..."

me: "hey! you're interrupting me."

tim: "no, i'm not."

me: stunned face. "what?!"

tim: "i'm contributing."

me: puzzled face. "contributing? how can you 'contribute' when you're telling an entirely different story?"

tim: "just listen to me. in austin when i was in charge of the grilling, i dropped a piece of steak."

me: furrowed brow & pursed lips

tim: "and speck came up and just took it away." (my sister's dalmation)

:: crickets ::

me: "was it raw?"

tim: "kind of. half of it was."

me: "hmpfh. are you done?"

tim: "yeah."

me: "can i continue?"

tim: "yeah, i'm done."

me: eye roll. "whatever. so we were cooking ou..."

adam: "hey, nice candles."

me: gritting teeth & narrowed dart-shooting eyes.

everyone but me: "ha ha ha"

me: "fuck off."

i don't like being interrupted. but i more so hate that the constant interruption tends to build the story up much more than it should be. by the time i finally got my story out, it wasn't funny, nor climactic. it just yielded blank faces and a half-hearted "heh" from megan.

grrr. thanks, tim.

early HNT

so basically i'm pre-posting for tomorrow's HNT. just didn't want you east coasters to be longing for my half-nekkidness. not that i've improved on the sexiness or anything.



it looks like i have a massive scar across my chest and onto my bicep. wish i had some great battle story, but it's just a reflection from my cocktail glass.

i do have other drunken battle scars though. maybe i should do an HNT series on those. although the best (or the worst according to mom) - the sprained ankle - didn't really leave any marks. come to think, most drunken injuries of mine are just bad hematomas - that's bruises for you kids who didn't skip the 2nd grade.

happy hnt!

poop

so i'm kind of having a pooper of a day. i really don't have anything fun to blog about. unfortunately there is just a lot of work that needs to be done. a lot of work for a job i dislike immensely.

this sucks - i hate these days. hopefully the afternoon will look up. the sun is shining after all... so i guess there is hope.

scary funny

so i took my kids to the neighborhood's annual halloween party.
they won the prize for "Best Costumes Ever in the History of the World".

l to the b

oh, laguna laguna laguna! i won't recap last night's epi because so many others do it oh so well. but a few things got me fired up. including the fact that i just noticed this is last season's picture to the left. oh well.

1) this actually got tim fired up - only 15 seconds into the show, even before my favorite hilary duff song carried us into the episode, i'm already talking to the tv and saying brilliant things like "why is LC having party for the seniors?" and "damn right jason shouldn't be invited!" and "jessica has lost all credibility!" tim was reading a magazine and said "will you be quiet and just watch your stupid show?" i said "hell no! there are things that need to be said! and i'm going to say them!!" damnit!

2) i have decided i like alex h. she says some really funny shit. when she and kristin were getting out of the car at LC's house and kristin was like "i think i'm nervous," alex cracked me up when she said "i know, i'm really nervous for you! but i didn't want to say anything!" i like her now.

3) kristin was completely immature at LC's house. i thought there was major potential for her to act like a big girl, because she sure was talking big in the car. then she shows up and doesn't even say a single word to LC? and LC didn't even do anything about it, just rolled her eyes. i guess she was being the bigger person? but i would have loved to see some passive-aggressiveness out of LC towards kristin.

4) i loved it when alex m. said "everybody just needs to get over jason!" amen, sister. the mute gets by on his semi-good looks, but can't grunt out a complete sentance.

5) lo was back at LC's party! was it just me or did she look like she'd grown up a little? but she didn't get very much air time. jen has totally taken over as LC's BFF, and i totally don't like jen. she is just a camera hog. and not cute. take that, jen.

6) LC totally kicked jason's ass at the end of the show. i ate up every second of it! jason is such a puss. you could tell he thought the "i'm sorry" was going to have her running back into his arms. and when it didn't, he pouted. when LC said "i don't know what you want me to say, jason" he said "nothing", but really meant "i want you to say that you can't resist my boyish charm and sexy facial hair and that because i said i'm sorry, i screwed up, it's okay and you love me and i love lauren." nope. she said Later Skater!

next week's episode looks all whiney and annoying, as they all cry and move away from the LB - all 30 minutes away to LA. give me a break people. as LC said - LA's a small town. somehow that's true even though LA is the 2nd largest city in the country. i'll be in front of the tv with popcorn though, i'm sure.

oh yeah... who's your daddy?

thanks, lulu.

you too could be the proud rejected crayon color of Spank Me Pink if you're wearing leopard spotted undies today.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

i wonder how many of these i could do and post in a day...

reunited

i'm going through serious blog withdrawal! since i didn't have to go to work on friday, i had no time to blog. that sounds so bad - makes it plainly obvious that the only time i blog is when i'm supposed to be w-o-r-k-i-n-g. whatever, you're all guilty of it too. i don't see yall bloggin on the weekends...

TGIMonday - i never thought i'd say that, but i'm so happy to be back in blogland. which is like candyland, but with alcohol.

thanks to heather for the quiz. but i'm a little disgruntled by the results. i could go so many places with the "tastes unnatural" but i won't. at least not right now...

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

work schmork

i'm just getting sent a bunch of good ones lately! i've watched this about 5 times and i laugh harder every time.

Never Scare a Brother

today is my friday people - i'm so psyched! we get tomorrow off of work because they're changing out our office furniture. i know, i can't believe they give us days off for that either. i have to be packed up and out of here by 3pm today.

i'm in such an unbelieveably good mood! i feel like i've been drinking on the job, i'm so giddy. maybe i have been. don't you want to know...

this is hot

i'm making strides towards sexiness.

i know what hotel houseshoes do to men. oh, yes i do.

happy hnt!

but can they sing?

these guys are hilarious. what cracks me up too is the poor guy behind them who's just studying during the whole concert.

is it sad to admit that when i watched this i thought "oh yeah! i totally need that song on my iPod!" yes, that is sad.

Two Chinese Students

shout. shout. let it all out.

last night while tim was busy working/studying/surfing the net, i decided to have a relaxing (read: boring) evening with a glass of wine and the crossword puzzle. i never got to the crossword puzzle b/c as i reached for my glass of pinot, i tipped it over on the coffee table towards the couch.

now, i could handle a big puddle of wine. but this glass didn't do that. this glass decided to spew tiny drops of red that managed to hit every single cushion of the couch. and even some on the wall behind it. blimey.

after yelling and calling my husband a jackass - sorry honey - i took the cushions down to the washing machine and went to work spraying them down with Wine Away and Shout. "spot treatment" has a whole new meaning when you're doing it on 80 different spots.

with tears pooling in my eyes, and cramps forming in my hand from the spray bottle, i accepted the fact that i had ruined the couch. i actually got kind of excited b/c i was going to get to buy a new couch this weekend. wow, maybe this glass of wine was a blessing in disguise! while scrubbing away i started daydreaming of fabrics, colors, shapes... which one would i choose?!?

i'll be a son of a bitch if every single drop of red wine didn't come out of the cushions. maybe i should quit my job and become a demonstrator at trade shows of how great Shout really works. it is amazing stuff. but now i'm stuck with my couch. let's see... i'm making tacos tonight. wonder if Shout gets out taco meat stains???